Posted in Crazy Dogs, Entertainment, Fun, Life, tagged Alpha male, Arnold, Boston Terrier, Christian Bale, John Connor, Judgement Day, Pearl, Poodle, Red eyes, Republican, Robots, Schwarzenegger, Terminator on February 23, 2009| 1 Comment »
So I went to my male alpha male’s work the other day, and there was a poodle there named Pearl. “Just my size!” I thought, and tried to get her to play. Well… she didn’t want any part of that. Nope, that saucy minx just kept growling and saying something about John Connor. What a bitch!
Posted in Awesomeness, Entertainment, Fun, Home, Life, Pictures, Puppy, tagged Back legs, Boston Terrier, dimension, kitchen, Oven, space, WTF on February 21, 2009| 1 Comment »
I was scrounging for crumbs the other night, and found myself back-assed into another dimension where dogs are a little, shall we say, “different-looking”… Yikes!
Posted in Awards, Cute, Fun, Home, Life, Love, Pictures, Puppy, tagged Dr. Evil, Drawing, Millions, Sketch, Sotheby's, Stuart Smalley on February 18, 2009| Leave a Comment »
I know that title sounds lame – like some Stuart Smalley mirror-side affirmation. But it’s true. Chances are that one day you find this simply scintillating sketch drawing of my likeness at Sotheby’s. Let the bidding start at 1 MILLION(!!!!!!!!) dollars.
...I'm handsome enough and doggone it, people like me!
Posted in Awesomeness, Current Events, Cute, History, Home, Life, Politics, tagged Barack Obama, Black, Cash, Hot dogs, Mush, Off, President, President's Day, White on February 16, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Today is President’s Day, and in my honest opinion, it should be celebrated. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to work today. My boss can take his “mush mush!” and shove it! Haha just kidding – I don’t have a job. Unless you count the 3rd shift at the gas station cleaning the hot dog cooker, but that’s just for a little extra spending cash.
Anyways, President’s Day is pretty cool. Especially now that we have Obama as our president. You see, he’s part white/part black, and things that are white and black are pretty awesome. I think you know where I’m going with this…
‘Nuff said.
Posted in Awesomeness, Cute, Dreams, Entertainment, Fun, Life, Love, Pictures, tagged AHHH!, Attack, Baby, Child, Dancing, Vegas on February 11, 2009| Leave a Comment »
It’s the attack of the giant off-duty-Vegas-show-dancer children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Posted in Awesomeness, Current Events, Cute, Entertainment, Famous Dogs, Fans, Fun, History, Life, Mailbag, Neutering, Politics, Puppy, Surgery, The Vet, Uncategorized, tagged Ancient Greece, Construction paper, Frasier, Joe Biden, Kelsey Grammar, Letters, Mrs. Jones, Sara-Jo, Sock Puppets, Third Grade, Well-wishes, Zeus on February 10, 2009| 1 Comment »
Since I’ve gotten (*gulp*) “lopped,” thousands of well-wishing letters have poured in from around the globe. I loved them all (except the mean one from the cat)!! Here are a few of my favorites:
Hi Bisket,
I’m so sorry to hear about your neutering. I just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. If you need anything (maybe some cheese??), please let me know – I’m always there for you.
Love,
Sara-Jo K., MPLS, MN
Bisket,
I was shocked to read about your recent neutering. I have a lot of experience with surgical procedures. Just look at my hair plugs. Do you think those felt good to put in??? No sir! Regardless, I wish you a speedy recovery, and hope you and your family have a blessed and safe 2009. Oh, and support to stimulus package. (No, that’s not some sort of sick neutering joke).
God Bless America,
Vice President Joe Biden
Bisket,
I know what it’s like to be neutered. It’s not fun, but it’s for the best. Sometimes you’ve just gotta take one (or two!) for the team. Just think of what this could do for your career! If I hadn’t been chopped, I would’ve never made it into the hearts of Americans across the country (Kelsey Grammar fired the dog before me because it kept peeing on his snakeskin boots).
All the best,
That dog from the hit TV show Frasier
Dear Bisket,
You are such a hero to us. Mrs. Jones reads us your blog every day between recess and math class. It makes us happy. One day, we made puppets of you out of old socks and buttons. Then we made a picture of you using black and white construction paper. We are sorry to hear about your testicle (whatever that is). We hope you are feeling better! We love you!
Love,
Mrs. Jones and her Third Grade Class, Philadelphia, PA
Almighty Bisket,
You are very great. And the people of my village are humbled by your power and heroic act of neutering. Please give us a bountiful harvest, and many rains to moisten the parched earth. We have made a sacrifice of many sausages in your name. You are the greatest god of all!
By the power of Zeus!
Odessius III, Ancient Greece
Posted in Current Events, Cute, Dreams, Fun, Home, Life, Neutering, Pictures, Puppy, Surgery, The Vet, Toys, tagged Balls, Lawyer, Neuter, Phone, Play, Vet on February 6, 2009| 2 Comments »
Sorry about that last post. I was feeling a little woozy… FROM THE DRUGS THEY GAVE ME WHEN THEY BLINDSIDED ME WITH A NEUTERING!!!!!
Seriously, I wasn’t supposed to be neutered until next week. But it all went down this past Tuesday. I go into this nice little office and meet a sweet little old man vet… then before I know it I’m waking up in a cage with no testicles. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
So I got on the phone and called my lawyer, who reminded me that I don’t have a lawyer. So I just sat there feeling sorry for myself in that little, lonely, steel cage. I was a sad pup. A sad pup indeed.
But then eventually the alphas came and busted me right out of there! Oh was I happy to see their little faces. However, I got specific instructions to calm myself down because I need healing rest. Well, doc, you’ve got a lot of nerve telling me to calm down after what happened to me. You can’t cramp my style twice in one day (if you know what I mean!). After all, I was born to run, jump, lick, and do the robot dance. But eventually I agreed to just chill out.
Yeah, that lasted about 2 seconds…
Now that's my idea of healing!
Posted in Uncategorized on February 4, 2009| 1 Comment »
Bliiiip. Wooooooooooffffff WoooF.
WOOOOOF1~!
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssausages! toTally woofff an bArQ yeaaahhh
Sleeeeepie.
SNORE…………………………………………………..
Posted in Awesomeness, Current Events, Entertainment, Food, Fun, Home, Life, Movies, Puppy, Sports, tagged Couch, DVD, GI Joe, Kennel, Kibble, Lethal, Maury, Milo and Otis, Ninja, Remotes, TMNT, TV, Vanilla Ice on February 2, 2009| 1 Comment »
Don't let my calm demeanor fool you - I'm deadlier than a diet of Ol' Roy dog food.
What do you get when you cross me with a ninja? That’s right… a me-ninja. And that’s exactly what I have become.
Remember how the alphas built me the Gauntlet a few weeks back? We’ll I’ve been running that thing for quite some time now, honing my agility and strengthening my legs. (And since I’ve been watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return of the Ooze lately, I’ve also mastered the nunchucks, and memorized Vanilla Ice’s Ninja Rap for motivation.) The point is, I’m quicker, stronger, and far more lethal than the average puppy. If you mess with me, I’ll either snap your neck like a twig or chew on your shoes until they come untied. I haven’t decided which.
My first order of business as a ninja was to escape the prison of my kennel and the surrounding gate. So when the alphas left the other day, I deftly lept atop my kennel, hopped over the gate and onto the couch. FREEDOM! Then I watched Maury all day with a bag of kibble until the alphas got back and witnessed my new cunning abilities. They also noticed that I didn’t burn down the place… and that’s a good thing!
My escape has had some far-reaching results. Best of all, I now get full-reign of the family room during the day. You guessed it – that means I get the couch, the bed by the heater, and most importantly… the tv remotes! Now that’s something a dog could get used to. And believe you me – I’m getting used to it.
Now if I could only figure out this DVD player… I’ve got some Milo and Otis that needs watching.
Posted in Awesomeness, Cold, Entertainment, Food, Life, Neutering, Puppy, Surgery, tagged Balls, Canidae, Carnegie Hall, Food, Microphone headset, Neuter, Nuts, Pawsome, Salmon, Sham Wow, Slap Chop, Vet, Vince, Walk on February 1, 2009| 1 Comment »
I just went for an AWESOME walk! I would say it was “pawsome” (as some of my loyal readers like to say) but it wasn’t pawsome because my paws are freaking COLD!!
Anyways, it’s great to get out and get my mind off this neutering business. I’ve got my check-in appointment with the new vet on Tuesday, and I’m a little bit nervous that he’s going to pull out a Slap Chop or something. Yikes!!
Besides that, nothing really new here. Oh, wait! I got a new food! The last one had something in it that made me fart a lot. Seriously, I could clear out Carnegie Hall with a few little SBD’s. But now I’ve got this new Canidae food with Salmon in it, and I eat the bejeebles out of it every time they stick it in front of my face. Dee-lish!
Ok, now I’m pretty sure that’s all the news… wait… maybe not… ok, yes it is. I hope you’re having a great weekend and wish me luck at my vet appointment. If my vet’s name is Vince and he’s wearing a headset microphone… then whoa boy I’m screwed!
Life with paws 