What do you get when you cross me with a ninja? That’s right… a me-ninja. And that’s exactly what I have become.
Remember how the alphas built me the Gauntlet a few weeks back? We’ll I’ve been running that thing for quite some time now, honing my agility and strengthening my legs. (And since I’ve been watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return of the Ooze lately, I’ve also mastered the nunchucks, and memorized Vanilla Ice’s Ninja Rap for motivation.) The point is, I’m quicker, stronger, and far more lethal than the average puppy. If you mess with me, I’ll either snap your neck like a twig or chew on your shoes until they come untied. I haven’t decided which.
My first order of business as a ninja was to escape the prison of my kennel and the surrounding gate. So when the alphas left the other day, I deftly lept atop my kennel, hopped over the gate and onto the couch. FREEDOM! Then I watched Maury all day with a bag of kibble until the alphas got back and witnessed my new cunning abilities. They also noticed that I didn’t burn down the place… and that’s a good thing!
My escape has had some far-reaching results. Best of all, I now get full-reign of the family room during the day. You guessed it – that means I get the couch, the bed by the heater, and most importantly… the tv remotes! Now that’s something a dog could get used to. And believe you me – I’m getting used to it.
Now if I could only figure out this DVD player… I’ve got some Milo and Otis that needs watching.