Archive for the ‘Mailbag’ Category

Since I’ve gotten (*gulp*) “lopped,” thousands of well-wishing letters have poured in from around the globe. I loved them all (except the mean one from the cat)!! Here are a few of my favorites:


Hi Bisket,

I’m so sorry to hear about your neutering. I just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. If you need anything (maybe some cheese??), please let me know – I’m always there for you.

Sara-Jo K., MPLS, MN



I was shocked to read about your recent neutering. I have a lot of experience with surgical procedures. Just look at my hair plugs. Do you think those felt good to put in??? No sir! Regardless, I wish you a speedy recovery, and hope you and your family have a blessed and safe 2009. Oh, and support to stimulus package. (No, that’s not some sort of sick neutering joke).

God Bless America,
Vice President Joe Biden



I know what it’s like to be neutered. It’s not fun, but it’s for the best. Sometimes you’ve just gotta take one (or two!) for the team. Just think of what this could do for your career! If I hadn’t been chopped, I would’ve never made it into the hearts of Americans across the country (Kelsey Grammar fired the dog before me because it kept peeing on his snakeskin boots).

All the best,
That dog from the hit TV show Frasier 


Dear Bisket,

You are such a hero to us. Mrs. Jones reads us your blog every day between recess and math class. It makes us happy. One day, we made puppets of you out of old socks and buttons. Then we made a picture of you using black and white construction paper. We are sorry to hear about your testicle (whatever that is). We hope you are feeling better! We love you!

Mrs. Jones and her Third Grade Class, Philadelphia, PA


Almighty Bisket,

You are very great. And the people of my village are humbled by your power and heroic act of neutering. Please give us a bountiful harvest, and many rains to moisten the parched earth. We have made a sacrifice of many sausages in your name. You are the greatest god of all!

By the power of Zeus!
Odessius III, Ancient Greece


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WhiteWiz3 writes:

If you could be any character in Lord of the Rings, who would it be?

Well, WhiteWiz3, that’s an easy question. I would be Gimli: short, stout, powerful, and a total wisecracker. Plus, I’d carry a huge axe and use it to make warg breakfast patties and links. Mmmmmmmmm!!!



Me. Anyone else see the similarities???

Me. Anyone else see the resemblance???

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Each day, thousands of fans write to me. Some want relationship advice (lick everyone once). Others, my thoughts on rawhide v. pig ears (neither). And some want to know if they can name their human child after me (copyright infringement!!!!).

Do I have time to answer all of these emails, letters, and smoke signals?? NO!!! Of course not! After all, I only have 4 paws. Jeez! Plus, I’m currently on the hunt for Sun Chips crumbs (Garden Salsa! The best!), and that takes up most of my day.

But I do have time to answer one of them right here in this blog.


Gregoire of pristalica.wordpress.com/ asks…


What up, dawg?


Nothing much. Just thinking about Sun Chips sleep food sleep myself poop sleep food blankets sausage.

Wait! Now Sun Chips... ok, now sausage again. Yup, sausage. Mmmmmm.

Wait! Now Sun Chips... ok, now sausage again. Yup, sausage. Mmmmmm.

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