They got me…

Sorry about that last post. I was feeling a little woozy… FROM THE DRUGS THEY GAVE ME WHEN THEY BLINDSIDED ME WITH A NEUTERING!!!!!

Seriously, I wasn’t supposed to be neutered until next week. But it all went down this past Tuesday. I go into this nice little office and meet a sweet little old man vet… then before I know it I’m waking up in a cage with no testicles. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So I got on the phone and called my lawyer, who reminded me that I don’t have a lawyer. So I just sat there feeling sorry for myself in that little, lonely, steel cage. I was a sad pup. A sad pup indeed.

But then eventually the alphas came and busted me right out of there! Oh was I happy to see their little faces. However, I got specific instructions to calm myself down because I need healing rest. Well, doc, you’ve got a lot of nerve telling me to calm down after what happened to me. You can’t cramp my style twice in one day (if you know what I mean!). After all, I was born to run, jump, lick, and do the robot dance. But eventually I agreed to just chill out.

Yeah, that lasted about 2 seconds…

 

Now that's my idea of healing!

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Stuff…

I just went for an AWESOME walk! I would say it was “pawsome”  (as some of my loyal readers like to say) but it wasn’t pawsome because my paws are freaking COLD!!

Anyways, it’s great to get out and get my mind off this neutering business. I’ve got my check-in appointment with the new vet on Tuesday, and I’m a little bit nervous that he’s going to pull out a Slap Chop or something. Yikes!!

 

 

Besides that, nothing really new here. Oh, wait! I got a new food! The last one had something in it that made me fart a lot. Seriously, I could clear out Carnegie Hall with a few little SBD’s. But now I’ve got this new Canidae food with Salmon in it, and I eat the bejeebles out of it every time they stick it in front of my face. Dee-lish!

Ok, now I’m pretty sure that’s all the news… wait… maybe not… ok, yes it is. I hope you’re having a great weekend and wish me luck at my vet appointment. If my vet’s name is Vince and he’s wearing a headset microphone… then whoa boy I’m screwed!

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Check it.

Here’s a rap I wrote about my upcoming neutering (Set to the beat of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song):

 

Now this is a story all about how
My little ball’s comin’ off without a sound.

It’ll only take a minute don’t make  fuss
And I’ll tell you why I’ll be a dog with no nuts.

In South Minneapolis livin’ it large
Peeing outside cuz the alpha’s in charge

Chillin’ on the bed and relaxin’ all cool
Obeyin’ all the rules from puppy pre-school

Then before you know it, my leg’s in the air
I’m peein’ on the blanket without a care

Pee on one piece of furniture and the alphas call
Said “We’re goin’ to the vet and cuttin’ off your ball!”

I tried to fight it, I already lost one
And isn’t one little testicle better than none?

Said I’m not gonna worry about it, not gonna care
But my leg kept poppin’ up in the air

I peed on a chair, a coat, and a hat
Makin’ sure you all know it’s mine, this and that

But that plan didn’t work, it’s a total flop
And now I’m goin’ to town, and gettin’ the chop.

Word.

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