Every time I see Conan O’Brien, I think to myself, “God, I want to chew on that hair!”
Archive for the ‘Toys’ Category
Today marks the 21st people birthday and 147th doggie birthday of this dog. Oh my flippin’ Great Dane in heaven, that is an old dog!! I can’t even imagine being that old. But once I am (and mark my words, I WILL BE), and my little Bisket parts don’t work as well as they used to, I’m gonna make sure I have one of those little Barbie cars to drive myself around the house (see exhibit A).
Regardless, salud and big woofs to you, old doggie!
Sorry about that last post. I was feeling a little woozy… FROM THE DRUGS THEY GAVE ME WHEN THEY BLINDSIDED ME WITH A NEUTERING!!!!!
Seriously, I wasn’t supposed to be neutered until next week. But it all went down this past Tuesday. I go into this nice little office and meet a sweet little old man vet… then before I know it I’m waking up in a cage with no testicles. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
So I got on the phone and called my lawyer, who reminded me that I don’t have a lawyer. So I just sat there feeling sorry for myself in that little, lonely, steel cage. I was a sad pup. A sad pup indeed.
But then eventually the alphas came and busted me right out of there! Oh was I happy to see their little faces. However, I got specific instructions to calm myself down because I need healing rest. Well, doc, you’ve got a lot of nerve telling me to calm down after what happened to me. You can’t cramp my style twice in one day (if you know what I mean!). After all, I was born to run, jump, lick, and do the robot dance. But eventually I agreed to just chill out.
Yeah, that lasted about 2 seconds…
Posted in Awesomeness, Cute, Entertainment, Farm, Food, Fun, Life, Meat, Pictures, Poop, Puppy, Toys, tagged Boston Terrier, cheese, Ham, Hamburger, Heaven, Ratatouille, Thinking, Tofu, Vegan, Waste on January 21, 2009| 1 Comment »
RAR! And greetings, loyal readers! (People, pets, and young children who should be sleeping right now but instead have stashed deceiving pillows under their blankets and snuck out of bed for a late-night read of this spectacular blog)
As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been laying low the past few days – all while doing NO LOW-LAYING WHATSOEVER! See, I’ve been pretty busy: you know, searching for sausages, scattering toys, and other general rabble-rousings.
I did get in quite a bit of trouble the other day. See if you can guess why… No, I did NOT poop in the bathtub – that is a terrible guess, and I’m offended you would even think I’d do such a thing!!!!
Ok, yes, I pooped in the bathtub. I am ashamed. =(
As you may already know, I have been obsessed with the bathtub lately. I can’t get enough of it. The other day, as I was taking my daily stroll around the tub, I got the urge and thought, “Well, so long as I’m here…”
As soon as it happened, I felt terrible about it. Especially when the alpha male female went bezerk about how she had just cleaned the bathroom. I looked at her with eyes that said, “I’m sooooo sorry. But in my defense, I’m halfway to the toilet.”
Am I Right?????? Somebody back me up here! (That means you, Joe Stains!)
The KOOSH and I broke up. It didn’t want a commitment, and I thought it was stupid to be in love with a ball made of rubber filaments attached to a soft core that was last popular in 1988.
Plus, why chew on rubber when you can chew on…