Here’s a rap I wrote about my upcoming neutering (Set to the beat of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song):
Now this is a story all about how
My little ball’s comin’ off without a sound.
It’ll only take a minute don’t make fuss
And I’ll tell you why I’ll be a dog with no nuts.
In South Minneapolis livin’ it large
Peeing outside cuz the alpha’s in charge
Chillin’ on the bed and relaxin’ all cool
Obeyin’ all the rules from puppy pre-school
Then before you know it, my leg’s in the air
I’m peein’ on the blanket without a care
Pee on one piece of furniture and the alphas call
Said “We’re goin’ to the vet and cuttin’ off your ball!”
I tried to fight it, I already lost one
And isn’t one little testicle better than none?
Said I’m not gonna worry about it, not gonna care
But my leg kept poppin’ up in the air
I peed on a chair, a coat, and a hat
Makin’ sure you all know it’s mine, this and that
But that plan didn’t work, it’s a total flop
And now I’m goin’ to town, and gettin’ the chop.