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Archive for the ‘Farm’ Category

Why wear pants if you’re going to poop them?? When it comes to that, we pooches are definitely ahead of the curve.

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I think I’ve got it. I mean, check me out – I’m already showing the symptoms. Rolling around the dirt to cool off and acting like a pig, right? Pretty soon I’ll be making friends with spiders and going “wee wee wee all the way home.” Seriously! This is not good…

 

 

 

 

"It's too late, Sidney... tell me family I love them."

"It's too late for a cure, Sidney... tell me family I love them."

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Tofu stir-fry.

"While we're on the subject of meat... if I bite a vegan, would they taste like tofu?"

 

 

Cheese sticks?

"Zzzzzzzzzz... Cheese sticks?!"

 

 

Creme Brule.

"Why am I thinking about creme brule? I'm a dog, not that rat from Ratatouille!"

 

 

Thinly sliced ham.

"Ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, big luscious thick heavenly slices of ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham..."

 

 

Bratwurst.

"This is such a waste of food."

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It’s New Year’s Eve: time for champagne, dancing, and laughing! Not for me.

img_7084Now stop it! Don’t give me that “Awwwww I feel sorry for Bisket” crap. I’m actually looking forward to a little relaxation tonight. For the past week, I’ve done quite a bit and quite frankly, I’m exhausted. I met 3 new dogs, ran around a giant farm, met a bunch of new people, pooped in the winter chill of a North Dakota breeze, and helped clean up Chris Mas decorations by shredding a cardboard wrapping paper tube. So the only ball dropping for little ol’ Bisket this New Years is his one testicle on his brand new bed.

Now just because I’m not getting plastered this New Year’s doesn’t mean I can’t have a few resolutions. (Plus, what would be the point in getting totally wasted when I run around naked through the yard all year long anyways??)

Bisket’s New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Eat 20% more kibble
  • Sleep about the same amount per day as 2008
  • Let the alphas clean my ears at least twice (and freak out every other time beyond that)
  • Learn how to go for a walk
  • Learn 2 new tricks: “lie down” and “dance for ham”
  • Meet 1,000 new people and 50 new dogs
  • Break into fridge; devour everything (including onions)
  • Quit smoking
  • Sign up for Jenny Craig
  • Just wanted to see if you were paying attention

And just because I’m not doing anything for New Year’s doesn’t mean that you can’t. In fact, I challenge you to have a great time and run naked through your yard (collar optional). After all, it’s fun no matter what time of year you do it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Yup, I have returned from my sojourn to the magical land of North Dakota! It feels good to be home – sleeping in my own bed and pooping on my own lawn. But that’s not to say that I didn’t have a great time this Chris Mas… because it was AWESOME.

First things first. I got to meet my cousin Buford. That dog is HUGE! Here’s a video of us meeting for the first time:

 

 

Haha just kidding. But seriously, Buford’s pretty big. After we made sure that I wasn’t going to kick his ass, we were allowed to play together. As you can see, I still kicked his ass!

 

 

Bufordisaurus Rex

Bufordisaurus Rex

 

I had a blast with Buford. He showed me around the farm and I even let him chase me around the house until gran-alpha Brenda put the kabosh on that. I’ll tell ya – I miss that dog already… what a great pooch.

 

 

I got a new friend for Chris Mas

I got a new friend for Chris Mas

 

Besides the adventures of Detective Bisket and Deputy Buford, things went great for the Holidays. I got to open my gifts – which sadly did not include any refrigerator-breaching devices. But I did get an awesome new toy raccoon! I also got a tummy ache because I ate a crapload of treats. It was all good till I yakked all over the rug. But man was it good going down!

Anyways, here’s some pics to tide you over. Enjoy your New Year’s Eve Eve!

 

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I got boots! But it's a love/hate relationship.

I got boots! But it's a love/hate relationship.

 

This photo is going on the back of my first novel.

This photo is going on the back of my first novel.

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