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Yup, it’s been a while since I’ve thoroughly entertained you with some imdoginations. But hey, I’ve been busy – you know, trying to find a couch made entirely of bacon on eBay. There’s gotta be one out there…

Anyways, sit back and enjoy these imdoginations (sorta like impersonations, but for dogs)! Then vote for your favorite.

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Humphrey Bogart…

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Sam Elliott…

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Tom Cruise from A Few Good Men…

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Pretty much everyone from The Great Escape…

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NOW VOTE!

P.S. Sorry about all the dots – WordPress is being a total cat right now.

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If you wish Happy New Year to a dog, do you have to say it 7 times?

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I’m all talk. This is a blog, after all! And that means that no matter how much I trash-talk cats, I would never hurta real one. But once a fake one steps on my turf, it’s on, baby – IT’S ON!!!!

This is Mr. Mittens. Or “Monsieur Mittens” as he likes to be called. He’s got a French accent, a French attitude and a penchant for, well, just acting French! So I put him back in his place whenever he acts up. Case in point:

IMG_8477

They're called FREEDOM FRIES, frog!

Hahaha I kid, I kid. Mittens and I are best friends – and he makes a mean mayonnaise. More adventures on the way??? Could be!

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Now let me make one thing very clear: there is only ONE Bisket. My little Boston Terrier puppy love is enough to circle the world twice, but I ain’t Ol’ St. Nick – I can’t be everywhere at once! That’s why the world needs some other Boston Terriers to spread the lovin’. And until yesterday, I didn’t even know they existed.

I got into my best harness, checked it twice in the mirror and hopped into the car. I had no idea where we were going, but I could sense it was somewhere that had some dogs. And where there’s dogs, there’s usually beef-flavored treats – and you know how I feel about beef-flavored treats. Yup, about the same way I feel about chicken-flavored treats. Or lamb-flavored treats. Ok, the same way I feel about treats – period!

So eventually we got to a pleasant house on a pleasant street and went around back. It looked like any other house; smelled like any other house. So what was the big deal?????

BOSTONS! 

All over the place! So many me-looking dogs that I had to nip myself in the butt to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I couldn’t believe it. Big Bostons, little Bostons, Bostons with round heads, Bostons with droopy ears, Bostons with tails, Bostons with Southern accents, Bostons with attitude, Bostons with black fingernails, and brown Bostons!

And then the fun started…

 

Lookit all them Bostons!!!!! There's more awesomeness in that pool than in the entire Western seaboard.

Lookit all them Bostons!!!!!

 

I'd never been in a pool that deep before. But once I got in, I couldn't get enough! And I didn't even need goggles.

I'd never been in a pool that deep before. But once I got in, I couldn't get enough! And I didn't even need goggles.

Soon, a foxy little dame called Ruby showed up. And the guys couldn't get enough...

Soon, a foxy little dame called Ruby showed up. And the guys couldn't get enough...

 

I kept my nose to myself and played it cool with Ruby. Struck up a little conversation about how nice her nails looked; does she use a Pedi Paw?? And then...

I kept my nose to myself and played it cool with Ruby. Struck up a little conversation about how nice her nails looked; does she use a Pedi Paw?? And then...

 

We played around!

We played around! I guess being the American Gentleman helps when you're picking up ladies!

 

That big guy is Bowser. It was his yard. I didn't see Mario or Princess Toadstool anywhere, which made me a little suspicious... but he was a great host!

That big guy is Bowser. It was his yard. He looks tough, but he was a great host and a helluva Mario Kart player!

 

Kirby telling me a joke. It was "What's black and white and good? Give up? Bacon that I want to eat!!!!!!" I didn't get it either, but it sounded delicious.

Kirby telling me a joke. It was "What's black and white and good? Give up? Bacon that I want to eat!!!!!!" I didn't get it either, but it sounded delicious.

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No, not that way! This way:

bisket terminated

Forget T1, T2 and T3. I’m the TP – TERMINATOR PUPPY! Now tell me where John Connor is or I’ll rip off your arms destroy you crush your skull TERMIN-eat all your Kraft singles!

 

Puppies: click here.

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Today marks the 21st people birthday and 147th doggie birthday of this dog. Oh my flippin’ Great Dane in heaven, that is an old dog!! I can’t even imagine being that old. But once I am (and mark my words, I WILL BE), and my little Bisket parts don’t work as well as they used to, I’m gonna make sure I have one of those little Barbie cars to drive myself around the house (see exhibit A).

Regardless, salud and big woofs to you, old doggie!

 

EXHIBIT A: This is me in like 20 years.

EXHIBIT A: This is me in like 20 years.

 

 

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Puppy vs. Baby, last age zero standing!

Puppy vs. Baby, last age zero standing!

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