Back!

RAR! And greetings, loyal readers! (People, pets, and young children who should be sleeping right now but instead have stashed deceiving pillows under their blankets and snuck out of bed for a late-night read of this spectacular blog)

As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been laying low the past few days – all while doing NO LOW-LAYING WHATSOEVER! See, I’ve been pretty busy: you know, searching for sausages, scattering toys, and other general rabble-rousings.

I did get in quite a bit of trouble the other day. See if you can guess why… No, I did NOT poop in the bathtub – that is a terrible guess, and I’m offended you would even think I’d do such a thing!!!!

Ok, yes, I pooped in the bathtub. I am ashamed. =(

As you may already know, I have been obsessed with the bathtub lately. I can’t get enough of it. The other day, as I was taking my daily stroll around the tub, I got the urge and thought, “Well, so long as I’m here…”

As soon as it happened, I felt terrible about it. Especially when the alpha male female went bezerk about how she had just cleaned the bathroom. I looked at her with eyes that said, “I’m sooooo sorry. But in my defense, I’m halfway to the toilet.” 

 

Am I Right?????? Somebody back me up here! (That means you, Joe Stains!)

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Puppillius Sillius

My name is Bisket and I have Puppillius Sillius.

There is a disease that afflicts almost 100% of puppies worldwide. A disease that causes puppies to lose control of their bodies, senses, and minds. It can strike at any time, and is incurable. It is known as Puppillius Sillius. Or more colloquially as: “Puppy Sillies”

Today, I had an outbreak of Puppillius Sillius. I was in the middle of playing when it hit me. I could feel the excitement building in my body and before I knew it, it exploded! I took off like a rocket down the hallway, scampering on the wood floor and sliding to a stop in the bathroom. Then I hightailed (even though I don’t really have a tail) it back the other way.

Nothing could stop me! My eyes were wide and my ears back as I went up and down the hallway again and again and again. My mind was saying, “Why can’t I stop!?!?!” But my body was saying, “YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

Finally, on the 10th trip down the hallway, I couldn’t slam on the brakes. You see, I’ve got wood floors (carpet makes me feel weird) and that makes for crappy traction. I slid on my butt for a good 10 feet – like one of those cartoon puppies on a patch of ice – and slammed directly into the door of my kennel… BOOM!

I sat there in a daze. Little cartoon birds flew around my head. What had come over me?? Had someone slipped a mickey in my water dish? I knew I shouldn’t have left it when I went outside to pee!! 

But then it came to me: I had just had an outbreak of Puppy Sillies. I apologized to Paul for accusing him of spiking my water dish.

You’re asking: “What’s it like to have Puppy Sillies?”

My answer: I just told you.

You’re also asking: “Do you feel sorry for yourself?”

My answer: Well how many times have you felt the crazy, lost-your-mind, sausages-for-every-meal kinda joy that makes you pin your ears back and sprint up and down the hallway? That’s nothing to feel sorry about.

But I really should move that kennel.

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