Posts Tagged ‘sausage’

Inside my little melon, right beside the part of my brain that makes me salivate over popcorn, is the part of my brain that thinks about cool stuff: the Cool Stuff Oblongata. I’m NOT making this up! Anyways, today I’m going to be lying in my kennel putting my CSO to some serious work.

You see, I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog lately, and I’m ready to change some things up. Add some fun stuff here, some sausage smells there… you know – just make it way more awesome. Of course one look at this picture and you’re probably thinking to yourself: “Well how much more awesome can it get?!?!?!?!” Right??

Hahaha that’s what I thought!



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WhiteWiz3 writes:

If you could be any character in Lord of the Rings, who would it be?

Well, WhiteWiz3, that’s an easy question. I would be Gimli: short, stout, powerful, and a total wisecracker. Plus, I’d carry a huge axe and use it to make warg breakfast patties and links. Mmmmmmmmm!!!



Me. Anyone else see the similarities???

Me. Anyone else see the resemblance???

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Each day, thousands of fans write to me. Some want relationship advice (lick everyone once). Others, my thoughts on rawhide v. pig ears (neither). And some want to know if they can name their human child after me (copyright infringement!!!!).

Do I have time to answer all of these emails, letters, and smoke signals?? NO!!! Of course not! After all, I only have 4 paws. Jeez! Plus, I’m currently on the hunt for Sun Chips crumbs (Garden Salsa! The best!), and that takes up most of my day.

But I do have time to answer one of them right here in this blog.


Gregoire of pristalica.wordpress.com/ asks…


What up, dawg?


Nothing much. Just thinking about Sun Chips sleep food sleep myself poop sleep food blankets sausage.

Wait! Now Sun Chips... ok, now sausage again. Yup, sausage. Mmmmmm.

Wait! Now Sun Chips... ok, now sausage again. Yup, sausage. Mmmmmm.

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Who moved my #$%^& cheese?!

Who moved my #$%^& cheese?!

The bathtub and I have a love/hate relationship. Love because on the third Sunday of every month, it is the provider of delicious bits of cheese. Hate because on the third Sunday of every month, it is the provider of soapy fingers in my ears.

When I think back on my bathtub experiences, it’s all a blur. One minute I’m following a trail of Colby-Jack into a glorious cavern of white porcelain, and the next I’m being swept away in a blanket – wrapped-up and shivering like someone watching their house burn down from the back bumper of a fire truck.

Now I don’t mind the cheese and the blanket (or even the scrub-a-dub-dubbin’). But I do mind when people stick their little sausage fingers in my ears!!! As you can see, my ears are pretty big. And just as sensitive. If you were to draw a graph of my ear sensitivity v. how big they are, it would be a big flippin’ graph. Get the picture?

So bathe me all you want. I’ll gladly trade a little self-respect for some tasty cheese nibbles. But please leave my ears out of it. C’mon – what did they do to you?? (Besides that one time)

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