This is a picture of one of my newest toys: Donkey. Remember him? He’s the wisecrackin’ “steed” from the Shrek movies. And… he talks!!! He’s got a bunch of catchphrases like “Whatsa matter? You ever seen a talking donkey before?” and “Ok, I’ll be quiet… this is just me over here… being quiet.” and “Stop chewing the connecting tissues of my eyeballs, dog!!!!” (Just kidding about that last one.)
Anyways, I was going to town on ol’ Donkey’s eyeballs the other day and all of the sudden it started talking. But it wasn’t one of those cutesy little catchphrases. Hell, it wasn’t even English. It was (I crap you not!)… devilspeak! Honestly, what came out of Donkey was a string of gobbledegook from beyond the grave! And it creeped me out.
So what do I do now? Leave Donkey in the back of the closet and never mention this again? (But he’s an awesome toy and I totally have a blast with him) Or do I keep on playing with him and risk opening a fiery portal into the third ring of Dante’s Inferno??
Please enlighten me through the results of this nifty poll…