The way I see it, I have 3 purposes in life:
- To entertain you.
- To educate you.
- To eventually break into the refrigerator and eat my way through a sea of potatoes, cheese, and leftover chicken salad.
We both know that I am fully capable of entertaining you. But do we both know that I can also educate you??? One of us does.
See, I don’t want to be seen as just another pretty irresistibly cute and stunningly dashing face. I want to be known for my brain too! So I’m starting a new segment:
“Bisket is… Mr. Smarty NoPants”
For each segment, I will educate you with a kernel of my infinite puppy knowledge. Sound good? I knew you’d think so.
So now, I present to you my first installment of…
BISKET IS… MR. SMARTY NoPANTS
Did you know (probably not) that cats caused The Great Depression? 1928 was a tough year for dogs. More and more people were getting cats as pets. Dogs were kicked to the curb. They tried to reason, but the cat union said, “We will poo in a box.” And the people were convinced.
In 1929, the stock market went in the crapper – this was known as “The Great Recession.” People got down on their luck and needed some cheering up at home. They expected their cats to cheer them up. But the cats hid under the couch, or in the cupboard and wouldn’t come out. They provided no happiness – no happiness whatsoever. Not even a wag of the tail or a welcome home greeting (they did occasionally claw a table leg). So the people got sadder… and sadder… and sadder. And this turned The Great Recession into The Great Depression.
Luckily, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (a president with 3 great dog names as his real name) created the New Deal. It provided emergency relief for the people – most notably throwing parachuted puppies from airplanes on Christmas Eve. “A pup to pick you up,” FDR promised. The dogs floated safely to the ground, wagging their tails and licking the faces of all Americans (who didn’t even mind the puppy breath!). The people were happy, their spirits soared, and the economy boomed.