You’ll never catch me complaining about being a small dog. Hardly. Maybe once. Ok, just this one time! And here’s my issue:
I’m too short to poo comfortably in high snow.
There, I said it!
Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow. Had a good romp around in it just last night. But listen, when I’ve gotta take the Browns to the SuperBowl, well… I don’t want my black ass sittin’ in a pile of cold white flakes.
I know what you “humans” are saying: “Can’t you just deal with it? You’re a DOG!!!” And my answer is: “NO! I sleep in a cage for half the day! I have to live my life without thumbs! I have to itch my ears with my feet! Oh, and did I mention I have to relieve myself OUTSIDE?!?! Isn’t that enough of an inconvenience?!?!?”
All I’m asking for is a nice warm little patch of Earth to poo on. You know, fresh bark nuggets. Maybe a tiny fireplace. Jacuzzi. Ok, ok maybe all I need is some low snow. We can’t all have the clearance of an Italian Mastiff, ya know?
So Paul, if you’re reading… grab your shovel and help a brotha out.