The best part about being a Boston Terrier is the outfit. Check it out: the snappy black and white combo of our fur has christened us “The American Gentleman.” And also, more appropriately, “The Dog of Bond.”
It’s not only because it looks like we’re wearing a charming little tuxedo (minus the bow tie, because those are a pain to tie). Nope, it’s also because Boston Terriers have often been asked to lead secret James Bond style death missions – Code Name: Agent 008 (or Agent 0056 in dog agent numbers).
Thanks to our tuxedo disguise, we can nimbly infiltrate badguy-hosted cocktail parties and piano recitals. (We are not good at casual secret missions, as we are almost always overdressed) When the moment is right, we sneak into the bad guy’s office and chew up his favorite slippers. This distracts Dr. Evil/Dr. Claw/Dr. Andrew Weil just long enough for the SWAT team to move in for the kill.
You’re thinking: “Oh yeah, why haven’t I seen any Boston Terriers in the James Bond movies?” Well, I can answer that – Sean Connery is an asshole.
Let me explain. The 1964 Bond film “Goldfinger” was supposed to be called “Boston Terror” and star Connery and a Boston Terrier secret agent. This never happened because Sean Connery said he’d never share the silver screen with a dog – especially one that was better looking than he! And since everything Sean Connery says is international law, Boston Terriers would never be in a Bond film again.
All I have to say is watch your slippers, Mr. Connery. Watch – your – slippers.