And people think dogs are pervs

Ok seriously people. Stop.
For years, dogs have gotten a bad rap about humping people’s legs. I realize this has come from years of many dogs actually humping people’s legs, but not all of us are like that. To tell you the truth, the number of legs I’ve humped is probably in single-digits. And I’m proud [...]

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Michael Vick

Let me be honest here: I couldn’t give two paw licks about Michael Vick’s well-being.
He is a sick, sick man and he does not deserve to play football and be a role model for millions of dog-loving children. He deserves, quite frankly, to pick up dog poo with his bare hands for the rest of [...]

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Imdoginations

As you know, I love a good imdogination. In case you forgot, imdoginations are just like impersonations, but for dogs. Ok, so they’re not just like impersonations – mainly because they are WAY COOLER! Ok, so check out these starring yours truly, and at the end lemme know what you think. Enjoy!!
 
 
 
Mel Gibson in Signs:
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A [...]

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If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my kennel.

Why? Because I’ve been chewing up Wii cords when left alone in the front room. And why not? My other toys are made of rubber. The Wii cords have rubber. It’s the perfect texture for my little nibblers!
The alphas, as expected, don’t see it my way. Now I’m stuck in this jail kennel; this jennel.
Someone [...]

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Puppy Playtime, suckas!

Today I went to puppy playtime and the alphas forgot the camera… AGAIN! Is this some vicious pox on their memory-capturing abilities? Are they destined to forget the camera forever????
My guess is yes.
Anyways, playtime was freakin’ awesome! I went nuts at the beginning, chasing all these crazy little chihuahuas. I was going to yell “Yo [...]

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Thanks for the letters!

Since I’ve gotten (*gulp*) “lopped,” thousands of well-wishing letters have poured in from around the globe. I loved them all (except the mean one from the cat)!! Here are a few of my favorites:
 
Hi Bisket,
I’m so sorry to hear about your neutering. I just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. If you need anything [...]

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GIDndie yumss

Bliiiip. Wooooooooooffffff WoooF.
WOOOOOF1~!
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssausages! toTally woofff an bArQ yeaaahhh
Sleeeeepie.
SNORE…………………………………………………..

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Stanky Pooch

I stink. No seriously, I do! I mean it’s not like I smell like rotten ass or anything, but I do have an odor of, I dunno, 2 week old ham(???). Regardless, let’s just say I’m not the sweetest smelling puppy in the litter.
Now, you all know how much I hate baths (the ear thing, [...]

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BORED.

There is NOTHING to do around here. It’s flippin’ colder than an Iditarod husky’s nuts outside, the alphas aren’t home for another 3 hours, and I can’t sleep. THIS IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!
My day since lunch:
1:01 PM: Cleaned out the Kong.
1:15 PM: Snowing?? Again??
1:22 PM: Read boring newspaper article on housing crisis. Peed all over awesome [...]

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Mailbag

Each day, thousands of fans write to me. Some want relationship advice (lick everyone once). Others, my thoughts on rawhide v. pig ears (neither). And some want to know if they can name their human child after me (copyright infringement!!!!).
Do I have time to answer all of these emails, letters, and smoke signals?? NO!!! Of [...]

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